Can Dogs Eat Cabbage? Cabbage Patch Pups

Dear reader, you appear to have something on your mind. Because hard work in the kitchen often leaves the mind abuzz. Especially when your pup dutifully watches you, waiting for scraps. You made a wonderful Asian fusion dish and have some extra cabbage leftover. Looking over at your begging pup, you wonder, “Can dogs eat cabbage?”

You glance over at your fragrant bouquet of purple, savoy, and other varieties of cabbage that one discovers with a quick “types of cabbage” Google search. Before you know it, you’re lost in that bouquet display of cabbage. Now, you find yourself wandering around in a cabbage patch maze.

“Is This The Real Life?”

You ask yourself, “Or is this just fantasy?” You’re caught in the cabbage patch maze. Your questions of reality become unimportant. Because, at this moment, what you need is to find a way out.

You walk amongst oversized patches of cabbage, blocking any view of an exit. Then you stumble upon a sign that reads: Can dogs eat cabbage? The answer is the exit.

“If I discover the answer, then I can leave,” you tell yourself, “Because the answer is the exit.” As you talk to yourself in the middle of a giant cabbage patch maze, a rumble of paw-steps echos all around.

It’s the Cabbage Patch Pups! And they’re here to help you.

They also talk because I’m writing this, and I want them to talk.

The pups speak in unison, like those two little girls from The Shining. Except when the Pups speak in unison, it’s much less terrifying and much more cute. Because they’re sweet little fur babies, not terrifying undead twins.

“Why Can Dogs Eat Cabbage?”

“Is what you must know,” the Pups say, “before you can leave this maze of leafy foe.”

“Wow,” you think, “They’re cute and they rhyme!”

The Cabbage Patch Pups go on to explain that cabbage can be eaten. That they ate it from the time they were mere, tiny little puppies.

Continuing their oddly specific, but informative speech, the Pups talk about the health benefits of cabbage for dogs. Because of its rich balance of antioxidants, they say, cabbage helps defend your furry friend from cancer.

Also, they talk about the ways cabbage benefits your dog’s digestive system, how it helps with bowel movements, and that its nutrients also promote healthy skin.

“It’s like lettuce,” the Pups say, “But with a lot more beneficial nutrients.”

“Very interesting. I bet an article about lettuce would be very interesting to read,” you say, while stroking your chin and earnestly nodding your head.

“But Be Careful”

The Cabbage Patch Pups warn you, “Like other human foods, cabbage offers some health risks for your dog.”

Continuing, they say, “Raw cabbage contains a chemical, thiocyanate, that harms the thyroid gland.” But they go on to tell you that the chemical only affects a dog that eats excessive amounts of raw cabbage everyday.

“However,” they say, “lightly cooking the cabbage deactivates the thiocyanate completely. Therefore some light cooking removes any risks of harming your fur baby’s thyroid gland.”

“This article, er, I mean these Cabbage Patch Pups sure are informative!” You say aloud.

The pups nod in agreement, before asking, “The time has come, interested reader. Can dogs eat cabbage?”

You wipe a bead of sweat from your brow and answer, “Um, yes. Yes, they sure can!”

The Cabbage Patch Maze Disappears

You find yourself back in your kitchen, standing at the counter and glancing at your computer. “Whoa,” you think to yourself, “What a truly immersive and informative article!”

Chase Correll