You know the story: bears, beets, battlestar galactica. But how about a better one: dogs, beets, battlestar galactica. Ohh, yeah. Much better. A nice ring to it, eh? However, do dogs and beets make for a great match? Can dogs eat beets?

What better way to find out than to hop aboard the intergalactic spaceship, the S.S. Fur Baby! Now, quickly, say this aloud with me: “Beam me up, Puppy!”

A Beam Of Light

Enshrouds you as tight as the clothes on your back. Through a whirlpool of bright fluorescence, you find yourself aboard the S.S. Fur Baby. An intergalactic spaceship dedicated to growing the first vegetables in space.

Those vegetables, of course, are beets. Why? Because dogs, beets, battlestar galactica. That’s why.

But also because beets take a long time to spoil. So, beets on a spaceship actually makes sense.

Aboard the ship

You’re greeted by Captain (Capt.) Puppy Pupperton. A toy poodle fixed with a talk box and sitting atop a human sized robot that is telepathically controlled. The talking cyborg dog would be unbelievable in any other situation, but somehow, at this time, it all feels believable. Yes, very believable.

Before Capt. Pupperton can explain the mission about growing the beets, you question the point of the mission, “Why is a space crew of dogs growing beets? Can dogs eat beets?”

Capt. Pupperton chuckles and shakes his small, toy poodle head: “Of course we can eat beets, my dear hooman friend. Please allow me to explain:”

Why Can Dogs Eat Beets?

Capt. Pupperton goes onto explain how, like other human foods, beets are completely safe for dogs to eat. However, he acknowledges that beets provide much less benefits for his canine friends than foods like bananas or peanut butter.

“While beets are very healthy for humans,” Capt. Pupperton says, “Us fur babies would need to eat quite a bit of beets to benefit from their fiber and vitamins.”

While Capt. Pupperton goes onto explain the necessity of growing beets on a spaceship run by a crew of cyborg dogs, a red light flashes and sirens blare.

“Oh No!”

Says Capt. Pupperton, “The Evil Space Felines are boarding the ship! They want to feed us large chunks of raw, uncooked beets!”

You shoot a perplexed look to Capt. Pupperton and ask, “Is that bad?”

“Yes!” Says Capt. Pupperton, “Very bad!” He explains the dangers of feeding large chunks of any food to a dog. How the chunks become a choking hazard and can cause an upset tummy.

Also, he then explains the best method to feed beets to your furry friend. He says that you should lightly steam or cook the beets to make them softer. The softer beet makes it easier for your pup to chew, swallow, and digest.

“Now, quickly,” he says, “Grab a water hose and spray those Evil Space Felines back to where they came from!”

After some good spraying, the Evil Space Felines cower away, back to their ship.

“Thank You For Your Service”

Says Capt. Pupperton, “You have been a great help to our mission, my dear hooman friend. Also, you’ve learned an important lesson. A lesson in doggy nutrition.”

“Thank you Capt. Pupperton,” you say, “I now know dogs can eat beets! I also know that a crew of cyborg, talking dogs are growing beets in space. Which is really strange, but cool!”

Capt. Pupperton laughs nervously, then zaps you with a memory ray. You find yourself waking up in bed. Only remembering that you had a very strange dream, and that dogs can certainly eat beets.